MLB UMP UPSET AFTER WITNESSING ADRIAN BELTRE CIRCLE JERK

No, sorry, that was last week’s plan. This week’s plan is to repeal and replace morale.

Start a GoFundMe. I’ll kick in a keg.

former Wall Street moneyman and recently appointed White House Communications Director [and The Mask movie villain] Anthony Scaramucci

I believe that the producers were planning spin offs for Michelle Yeoh’s character in Tomorrow Never Dies and they definitely were trying to setup a spin off series with Halle Berry’s character in Die Another Day but they never went anywhere.

I’M BASCH VON ROSENBERG, FROM DALMASCA!

Self driving taxi? Yes

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most....hey, why didn’t anyone ever tell me that mirrors could vomit?”

We all know what’s really going to happen.

His default answer is that he was blacked out and has no memory of events spanning that 60-day period.

Ham, typically

Jules:. Does he look like a fish?

If only they had a French word for deja vu....

I’ll Star this right after I stop crying. Don’t wait up.

Deadspin, I love ya, but ...

It’s wrong that you didn’t already want cheese.

“Wayne Gretzky’s Office Pool” was a Genesis exclusive though.

Please. Everyone knows “2Great 2Gatsby” is the superior Gatsby sequel. Most people know it better by the name they used for the GBA port, “Gatsby 2: The Adventure of Gatsby”.