How hungry are they? Related: How many expendable interns did they bring?

And Niantic did a pretty good job of not only providing legal disclaimers in its terms—which we’ll discuss below—but also a prominent warning when the app loads, admonishing you to “Remember to be alert at all times. Stay aware of your surroundings.” It’s almost like they don’t want you to get hit by a car.

Elvis Andrus wins the “Most Likely to be Murdered by His Own Teammate” Lifetime Achievement Award.

All I have to look forward to every year is for the Cowboys to stay in the playoff hunt until week 17, then get absolutely crushed. My favorite part is watching Jerry throw his temper tantrums then show up on the sidelines in the 4th quarter to personally order every play because he’s a Super Football Genius who can…

And......saved.

NO ONE TELL THEM IT WASN’T A REAL BABY

Here lies Lincoln Chafee,

Oh, wow. Burt Bacharach. These DNC planners sure know how to hook younger voters.

Didn’t anybody get the tracking chip implanted in his butt? That’s just irresponsible Lincoln ownership.

I went out l0oking for Dittos a while ago. I looked everywhere. I poked and prodded every menu in the app. I caught every Pokemon. I travelled the entire world, to no avail.

Once I was ready to check out and the whole store was dead empty. I had a lot of stuff, and the lady in the express lane motioned me to come on through. I said “but I have a lot more than the limit, I can go to a regular lane.” She said “no, don’t worry about it, there’s no one here, it’s empty.”

Is Ninty going to ask us to buy those all over again?

I’ve heard rumors that Pokemon Go can sense when you’re drifting, and that’s the only time that Mew will appear.

but don’t force 8 years old children to be exposed to having to share bathroom facilities with people that don’t share the organs they were Bourne (sic) with

“And that’s just one quote from Twilight Sparkle about friendship. So, you know, not plagiarism. Now, if I could take some air time to talk to you about Applejack, my favorite Pony, what you should really know is....”

He’s an expert on roads and bridges, put him at the Department of Transportation.

.

Until they mentioned Cleveland by name, I assumed this was a joke by someone in San Diego.

“Everyone will love our new time slot: 6:00 am ET on Valentine’s Day!”

That’s weird, I’ve never gotten that response before. Maybe try using wood screws instead of nails next time. You may be nail-intolerant.