Well, as my sister pointed out, if you grab that much pussy, odds are good you are going to come in contact with some hottie on a heavy flow day... Then Donald Trump is Lady MacBeth-ing his ass off looking for Lava soap to wash off... “it’s not coming off! Why didn’t she tell me before I grabbed her pussy!”

I was having lunch with my husband when we saw it on CNN.

Well, first, no one asked him to pay for a funeral because nobody’s dead yet (keep the faith, Shep, you miserable sack of shit).

He really is.

No. 2+2= Mexican hamsters stealing your jobs... Something with China, build a wall. It’s going to be huge. A huge Mexican rapist hamster. Only I can save you vote Trump.

Mrs. Clinton is genius!!! She must have known this would completely consume him!

I love these cats. I’ve been obsessed with this Instagram account for months.

Seriously, though. Rarity would throw a shoe before she’d walk most of that shit down the runway.

I use it to suppress migraines.

I think he has the help crush his various old people medicine in to a single line of fine powder (I know he’s in amazing sensational health. Stupendous. I am in awe. Let’s build a shrine.) so he can snort them all down at once with the same mock million dollar bill with his picture on it.

I think I probably smells like old man taint and Chipotle.

I don’t want I chance to punch him. I want to pit him against one of the Trump boys and other assorted jerks in a douchebag Hunger Games. Then throw in some poors with rifles, machetes and maybe a personal grudge or two? Survivor just got a lot more interesting.

Has Heidi Cruz ever announced her escape yet? You go girl!

I think I know this one. When women laugh a him his penis transmutes from 24k gold back into lead?

I love her face! I could watch her church social face all day long.

Hillary’s n.v. use of the shoulder shimmy was inspired. I will be using it all day today.

Let’s give it up for the split screen and Hilary being raised by a mother who taught her the art of suppressing her resting bitch face. “People don’t need to see every thought that wanders through your head, young lady!”

That’s wonderful for developing countries where diarrhea can be fatal in young children! I didn’t know about that.

Shhhh... she got to the right place.

Here’s a quote from Zach about why he won’t have Trump on.