This is the greatest fucking thing I have ever seen.

Chris Martin wanted David Bowie to collaborate with him and David Bowie was like, "Nah, I'm good."

Satans all like "free babysitter!"

My mouth and general face could not handle the simultaneous groan and eye roll that just summoned rage from deep within me everything exploded and now I have just a neck stump where my head was. Thanks Fox News I never have to think about how FOUL you are again.

Proud of ya! TBF I don't buy into most of the ouija stuff, I like it aesthetically, but as far as actual rate of talking to ghosties I'd say its minimal. Always did wonder about that question I asked though.

That was pretty much what I said! Like really satan is going to show up to Chico and jump into a creek? Although idk if I was the dark lord and could do whatever I wanted it would probably be that because I'm 900% percent certain one of my friends peed a little and that's just good spooky times.

Ooooohoooo. I have a few good ones. My favourite was when my friends and I built our own ouija board and blessed it with a satanic bible. Had some indigenous native americans (we were in Chico, CA, which is basically one big giant Native American Burial Ground) pretty much tell us to fuck off (we accepted that). Then…

Am I the only one not turned off by the word vagina and find it totally acceptable to say both during sexy and not sexy times?

I am this cat.

agreed.

BLESSED BE.

Blessed be all these gentlemen.

Wtf female ejaculation? This is some bullshit.

No, YOU'RE crying.

Someone please slam dunk Piers into a trash can for he is literal garbage.

NO THAT WAS DELICIOUS AND I STAND BY THAT

"...and children's ice skates." CACKLING.

NO FUCKING SERIOUSLY HE COULDN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO BE ON TIME THE FUCK.

LITERALLY WAT

Am I the only one who yelled "YES I WANT THAT BRING ME THAT" when he was going on about "you could be having all of this!"? Because I yelled that and I need to know I'm not alone.