That’s a pretty silly position you’ve got, there.

Why does it actually look good (relatively) on all of them? Is it the greatness of the mullet itself or more of the fact that most of them are older white dudes that I believe could’ve rocked a mullet earlier in life?

The ultimate goal is to beat the shit out of them. They’re responsible for their own fucking conversion.

Your pitching analysis is pretty off the mark. Sev is the staff ace (and was destined to be; the relief stint and the shittiness beforehand were not planned), CC has been solid all season, and Tanaka turned it around in the second half.

Race officials reportedly became suspicious when the dogs howled the guitar solo from Comfortably Numb in unison.

I literally screamed that from the roof tops myself.

“Also, where do we complain about Smoltz using irregardless.”

Why in the hell would you state “MLB wants ratings” or “wants this series to go six games” if you weren’t clearly attempting to imply some sort of conspiracy? Your entire original premise is what I took issue with and it is stupid and ridiculous.

OK.

Pictured: AndrewFarmer’s ball cap.

With that being said, why did the coach not run at least one more up the middle to burn some more time? 

I feel like this is the right answer. I didn’t watch the game but why wouldn’t you try to get closer to the 25 yard line. From a quick search and hopefully accurate information, I show he’s 11/15 on the year for FGs. Of the four misses, three were from 50+ (he’s 0-3 from 50+) this season. He’s 11-12 under 50 including…

Yeah, such a strategy might make sense if the FG try was 30 yards or so, but 54 yards is a long enough attempt to be iffy. Have to work further down the field.

“Manning flushed out of the pocket like someone fleeing a wildfire.”

“Man, the Browns are getting killed out here. You’d think they played in Las Vegas.”

This is a correct call. Once the player in possession loses control of the ball, it is a fumble. The standard for recovery of a fumble is the same as a catch - in the NFL, that is two feet or one non-foot body part down in the field of play, and control of the ball through contact with the ground if the player is…

Yeah, but unlike the catch rule, there’s actually a point to this one. I’ll take interpretation over ruined hips.

But without that rule, doesn’t Culberson just plow into Contreras? I get that this is the MLB equivalent of the “What’s a catch?” but I think that play is dramatically different if the rule doesn’t exist. Maddon wants it repealed, but then we go back to arguably the most dangerous hits in US sports. I think Maddon has…

Rip the NFL for covering up head injuries on Friday, celebrate them on Saturday. Welcome to Deadspin