We should call it “Shooting At the Walls of Heartache”

Related: A young, sycophantic, eager-to-please Chris Christie had to run down to the concession stand to buy him some peanuts and Cracker Jacks.

I know what doomed them, lack of the required seven pre-game stories about some SICK WARMUP SHOTS BY STEPH CURRY

The Univision Deportes Ombudsman responds: “Look: we don’t like sports and know very little about them. This is not in question.”

And the board game is terrible, you have to continually buy shit from the company store.

Remember, it can still be immaculate, because she may very well be without the taint of original sin.

Finally, the tri-ply tonic to my crippling depression and lack of self-esteem

Finally, the tri-ply tonic to my crippling depression and lack of self-esteem

It’s like Balki or Apu is taking in the game for the first time and regurgitating it for the enjoyment of the laugh track.

Are We Full Yet?

Can’t wait for the right-wing super PAC-produced biopic featuring untalented reactionary actors. I can see the tagline now: “Baio IS Arpaio!”

“How dominated can one guy be?

[misdirected reply]

Sorry, Professor Hillman, we’re going to have to let you go.

“These images and recycled content don’t reproduce themselves!”

(payable in barrels of masa)

It’s mutual!

It’s only a Deadspin store if several unwanted soccer-related items worm their way into the catalog.

“You call that a Twitter knifing?”

“Dream big!”

“We’re Ed-cited About It!”