It’s really got to be hard to be your father’s second choice for a date.

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

Brady fandom has reached its peak.. why did that young man get Brady's chin implanted on his back side?

Mike Trout has 45.9 fWAR from 2012 to today. The next closest position player has just over 2/3 that much, Josh Donaldson with 31.0. To put that in perspective, through five years Willie Mays had 31.1, Hank Aaron had 28.4, Mickey Mantle had 29.5, Alex Rodriguez had 35.6, Barry Bonds had 31.0, Ken Griffey Jr had 28.1,…

Tony has no room to talk after all the slurs he’s directed at police officers.

Barney made 11 consecutive dog days before he got too old to climb the stairs last year.

Because “Antonio Brown” has like 7 guitar solos and Josh Norman just bought his first Squier Stratocaster 16 months ago and he’s still learning his scales. He can do “Big Me” by Foo Fighters, though.

This is a real shrewd way to stick it to the bosses. Good on you guys, Deadspin.

I had no idea how close I was to reaching a turning point in my relationship with this sport until last night. Like, I was goddamn hyped for that game and by the end my excitement for the start of the season had been entirely replaced by frustration. The second half was basically a showcase for everything wrong with…

I just put down my Doberman today. 10 years old. Fighting bone cancer. He fought his ass off but wimpered and cried the last few nights and I couldn’t put him through it anymore. My first dog. My best friend. That growl just sent me into chopped onions area. Bears are amazing. All animals are amazing.

I have no idea how they are managing to do it with the laughably cursed roster this season (Neil Walker now lost for the season!), but the Mets sure look like they’re going to overtake the Cards for that 2nd WC.

You’ve really cut to the core of this issue Barry. Today is the day to do something meaningful because damn it, we may not have tomorrow.

Apparently you’re not familiar with Title K-IX.

Can’t

That name’s too long. Let’s shorten it a little bit.

Counterpoint: Jon Niese coming out of the game was good.

I have an admitted blind spot for the Mets, and I defend them around here pretty much every chance I get, but you are right. It is just fucking unreal. The Mets have had at least five players THIS YEAR who tried to play through injury, sucked as a result (harming the team in the process), and ended up missing time…

Katie Nolan needs to be mentioned the next time a late night network gig comes available. She is a damn national treasure.

OH FUCK YEAH JUST PLUG THAT SHIT STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINS IT’S SO GOOD.

The most American thing someone can do is to leave a baseball game early.