Divide and conquer, my dude.

Voting has started, around 10% of my country has already voted (Harris county, the largest in Texas). October surprises are done, and these are truly last ditch attempts. If Russia or Wiki leaks had anything, it should have been posted by now. It can only get worse for trunk at this point, not better, even Texas is…

Some days this election makes me wonder if I’ve inadvertently taken acid and I’ve just been on a bad trip for like a year.

Dear Trump,

“Martha deals in the realm of pleasure and life lived well.”

Is this some kind of Miss Havisham scenario, where she hasn’t taken off the free hotel slippers she was wearing when the incident occurred? And I’m all for roaming the house in a hoodie with no pants, but if I’m heading into the world, I’m gonna pants up.

Martha is awesome.

Jeez, was that ever irritating when they all kept acting surprised that she admitted to engaging in sexual activities, like sexting, going to a nude beach, etc.

Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party 11/07/16 on VH1

Poor kid had a miscarriage in July.

The term ‘pap shots’ will never not make me think of gynecological photos.

Martha Stewart has sexted and she will most likely sext again.

I didn’t expect to be so affected by it— but I could not control the “Whooooo!!” and “Wow!!” that came bellowing outta me when they did that. It was great fun & splashy pageantry, yes, and it was designed to get us fired-up, but that was also when The Big Significance really hit me in the gut. “This is happening! She’s…

My opinion of Aniston has greatly increased upon learning, just now, that her husband is BFF with Amy Sedaris.

totally blank stares

Yes indeedy.

Amy Sedaris is my everything.

This is funny timing because last night I was listening to SJP on Marc Maron’s podcast, and she said that she felt a little bad that her husband, Matthew Broderick, didn’t end up with Amy Sedaris. She felt like they would be a great couple! Amy’s tearing apart marriages left and right and the wives just let her do it.

I hope she gets Spielberg or Kathryn Bigelow to do some special effects of the ceiling breaking. Because what Election Night needs is the celebration of all celebrations and special effects.