That’s the opposite of my mom (who technically was my college roommate cuz I lived at home). We had a bit crab apple tree outside our bathroom window so it was pretty covered up and it was raining one day. I walk in and she’s standing in her bra and undies in front of the bathroom mirror, blinds open and all. I…

hippie school

This list is long and crazy, but here is the single weirdest thing he did, which creeped me out far more than when I found out about the church burning:

No, just your average “alternative” school in a not crazy state

Ah yes - We were the same person. (Villain laughter here) I also want to add I stole my roommates clothes, made up malicious gossip, constantly cheated on my boyfriend and made all my roommates lie for me, and chain-smoked. Chain-smoked inside, like a total asshole. Like a total asshole? I was a total asshole.…

My dorm roommate worked at the newspaper and blow dried his hair every morning at 3:45 right next to my bed. Between that and all the pulled fire alarms, I made a small bed up in the upper chamber of our closet so I could sleep through both easier.

I could tell days’ worth of funny fraternity house stories, plenty of which revolve around shitty behavior toward roommates. For example:

This is an impressive cast of maniacs. Did you go to school in Florida?

I’m pretty sure I am going to win this. I lived with all of the roommates below in on campus apartment style housing in a single school year:

I’m offended you think I’m that old but also flattered you think I went to Princeton

As a well-adjusted adult with bills and shit? of course not

I had a roommate who would shit on the floor. He went on to become a racist, MRA, conservative columnist.

Too long to go into in detail, but my first college roommate was being investigated by the FBI for his role in burning down a church. But that wasn’t even the weirdest/creepiest thing he did.

The cross campus bus had a stop outside my dorm down a small grassy hill that would stop there if people were waiting. One day my freshman year I was late for class (shocker) and was running to meet a bus that was just about to pass that stop.

....he was constantly on the phone with his girlfriend, Lennay Kekua...

I lived off campus in an apartment with 2 other guys - the doors of each room were sliding things that didn’t quite close all the way. One dude was fine, we didn’t interact a whole lot but shit was respectful. The other guy had the demeanor of a serial killer (cooked meals for the week on Sunday, worked out at 1 am…

Thousands, even. Somewhere there’s a caveman men’s room with an inscription in the rock that says “for good time, call Amanda. She behind birch stump. Has good prices.”

My freshman year I had an extremely paranoid roommate that, among other strange behaviors, had to have the blinds on the windows completely closed every time he changed because he didn’t want to risk anyone seeing him without any clothes on.

Both of them are idiots and neither did anything wrong. One girl talked shit about her roommate behind her back and got caught. There was a confrontation. People were upset. This exact story has played out for hundreds of years.

I don’t have any because I was lame and lived at home for school. But I will tell someone else’s story.