As a Seattleite, I approve of the utter embarrassment this brings the Thunder franchise at the hand of our PNW sister city.

TL;DR my nigga

Westbrook could not be reached for comment because he doesn’t show up for his team in the playoffs, in life or in afterlife.

Aww hex, I’m #008000 with envy that I didn’t think of it first.

I am unable to distinguish between the fart sound and every other sound that has ever come out of his mouth.

More accurate to call him a former NBA player, I think. 

Former Blazer, and noted cupcake aficionado, Raymond Felton.

“Your (avg.) 180 pounds plus carry-on doesn’t really add much to engine output.”

The stoppage was so that the NCAA could investigate the players receiving improper food benefits.

I mean, in the sense that an ever-growing portion of the electorate is uniting behind the idea of getting this self-tanner-stain on the Oval Office upholstery the hell out of the White House, he’s not wrong.

Also, LOL at the cognitive dissonance his true believers are going to be shouldering when they have to point at F…

Florida prosecutors have offered to drop the solicitation charges against Patriots owner Robert Kraft on the condition that he admits he would’ve been found guilty of receiving sex acts had the case gone to trial, according to the Wall Street Journal.

Sick and tired of reading about all these rich, old guys getting off. 

Meh, your Honda is safe, the local thieves mainly know the techniques for early-90s Nissans and late-90s Subarus.

There is no way this racist meathead voluntarily gave up a cop uniform/gun/badge. 

Damn right; on a plantation, the gates were used to keep the coloreds inside the premises. #Progress

Fuck you, fuck your milkman, fuck evening TV and take your star.

So, since Lori Loughlin is involved, is it fair to say that this scandal is everywhere you look?

In Eminem’s origin story he’s bit by a radioactive Summer’s Eve.

He was initially charged with reckless driving but after review it was determined the guy wasn’t set and the call was reversed. 

He reportedly told his mother that if she had a problem, she could meet him in Temecula