If you’ve never dislocated a digit, let me tell you: you know *immediately* that it’s dislocated. Like, there is no doubt, and nothing else feels like it. Both times it happened to me, it was during a soccer game (I played goalie many years ago). I just yanked the offending finger, reset it, and kept on truckin’.

Rudder comes stuck hard to port.

Very fitting for Cadillac. Even their logo will be an empty shell of its former self.

[Dealer]: Shit. How much is this gonna cost me?

• FELL OFF TOILET, FELL ONTO A MOUSE TRAP, TRAP CLOSED ON PENIS

A giant industrial spool of fiber optic cable fell off a truck and went cruising down the Houston highway yesterday.

ahhh yes.....**looks at America in 2018**  we should definitely put more things to a national, popular vote. 

You’re right. I’m sure he did that Nike campaign gratis.
(And by the way, don’t worry: You don’t sound racist at all.)

Oh, snap.

My Joe Theismann avatar’s leg keeps glitching.

So, as an experienced parent, what are the best children’s’ activities to re-live as an adult, that take you right back to being a kid again?

Raven’s coach Harbaugh was later quoted as saying “there should be a rule against that”

that’s what she said

Hey, look, another billion-dollar Bay company making a showy display of how you get to go home early.

It’s the Saints own fault. They were supposed to have petitioned the league during the offseason to have this celebration, complete with NFL branded apparel, available now at the NFL.com store!

Natty is bad enough, but at least it’s not 144, that would be gross.

There’s no way this story is true. Chris Dudley couldn’t defend shit. 

Amen. I live in a town where the Catholic church scandal hit particularly hard. EVERYONE here was affected in one way or another. But all these Trump-voting dip shits (many of whom are rape victims or the sibling of a rape victim at the hands of a Catholic priest) want to kill/smear/degrade/ignore Dr. Ford and hate…

“For the record, I do NOT recommend using a helicopter as a hair dryer. Trust me on this one.” --Vic Morrow