ok I have a list

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

There's only one universally valid question: Are you over 35 years old?

Well, he does smoke a lot of weed, of course he's craving dick!

If Judge Moore was my dad, I would be getting high as well.

Perfectly said.

"Being young and immature, I did post pictures of me with drinks in the background," he said. "...Since then I've got in a closer walk with the Lord."

This is all I can come up with.

On one hand, I could give a shit about some dude and his marijuana and Xanax. I'd be high too if he was my Dad.

It could only work if you're a contortionist, have inhumanly long ape arms, or are actually literally Inspector Gadget. (Go go gadget soft-core? IDEK.)

I'm upset by the green olives.

I couldn't really give a shit less about how people want to live their lives as long as they're all consenting adults. You wanna be monogamous? You happy? WORD.

Why is every asshole's first friendly tip that we should all go to college?

It's St Patrick's Day guacamole.

THIS GUACAMOLE IS THE INCORRECT COLOR.

Kayleigh Davis:

Dear Malaysia, keep your feet on the ground.

+1

Wait, where is the advice for losing weight by eating like cavemen?

This seems to be less of an intelligence test and more of a trivia test...