My aunt and uncle - who I have thankfully cut out of my life about 3 years ago, when I was 27 - CONSTANTLY brought up the fact that, when I was in 3rd grade, they gave me their old checks to play with. Said checks were useless, as they had closed the account and thought the absolute best thing to do with them was to…

I'm really glad I like my parents.

Okay, let's talk about exactly what it says about how America expresses its sexuality publicly that a magazine full of pictures of women who appear not to eat and have been photoshopped to the point of biological improbability is a profitable venture in 2015. It would be great if we could do so without using any…

How do you get to 5 stars and then get caught on the freeway?

Beck puts out recording after recording of high quality awesome songs. People who like music know that Beck is alive and well

A better idea than Penn State's touching tribute for Joe Paterno.

Angering Drew enough to get him to write this, even though it physically pained him? I regret nothing.

He's got way more class than you, Cowboy.

...so they sacrificed from the goodness of their hearts and their pockets to make it happen.

Swing and a miss on that one.

All these "talking to the media is part of the deal, it's why he gets paid" pundits baffle me. As far as I'm concerned his job is playing football, preferably in a visually entertaining fashion. I could not possibly give less of a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut whether or not he talks to the press. I suspect the…

You'd think that sitting next to Bill Walton would be the all the evidence Pasch would need to be convinced we were all once apes, and perhaps Walton still is.

They're around. What, you think those bathrooms clean themselves?

I like Sierra Nevada pale ale, but for none of the reasons you like it. You're an idiot and you don't know what you're talking about.

Not buying it Sheriff. I spoke with your High School History teacher and he says you never played varsity.

"Hardin County Sheriff John Ward said those who go into law enforcement typically do it because they have a desire to shoot minorities...

Emmert went on to reveal that the parents of players on any team making the NIT finals would be fined $250.

False flag?

Operator: "Tallahassee Police Department, how may I direct your call?"