He reminds me of Bodie Broadus.

As a guy who wasn’t watched Bears football in two years, letting go is surprisingly easy and fulfilling. I was a pretty big fan earlier in life too. But my mix of distaste for the league and an expanded knowledge of what football does to a human body has facilitated the process.

“Please hand in your mustache and your Jerry Jones Stenography Kit.”

Well seeing as this was back in the 1990s, that would have been a neat trick.

What the fuck, are you serious? The man paid for his ticket. He paid for a ticket to go on that plane.

America is so fucked right now because the Government has turned the keys to the kingdom over to corporations.

Choosing to start taking drugs is a choice so remember to only take them when you have a magical slip of paper that says it’s ok then stop immediately and don’t ask for help if you’re addicted because we don’t have anything for you. I’m sure you won’t find this messaging confusing, kids.

His doctor prescribed it to him after a shoulder injury that ended his wrestling career.

Heartwarming, in a way, if you imagine it as a metaphor for one random person looking at the overwhelming indifference of the universe and smirking as they say, “Fuck you. I WILL make a difference!”.

50/50 shot of getting in the lineup?

1/1 shot of catching a Tigers homer?

They’re... forever... blowing ballgames...

The ony thing that really appalled me in that SI piece is that Sarah Fucking Palin described Kaep’s donation to Meals on Wheels as a publicity stunt. For crissakes. “You’re only helping the hungry for attention!” Ugh.

Man, fuck Jim Harbaugh for making me feel bad for saying “fuck Jim Harbaugh” all those times.

sober policy knower Paul Ryan

That would be Lou Gehrig’s luck, to die of Lou Gehrig’s disease, and then be reborn to a woman with Kristen Cavallari’s disease.

A toddler might say to you, “Vroom vroom, I am a truck!”

This, forever. Let’s keep eating our own tails guys, I’m sure that’ll help us beat back the lockstep, laser focused Republicans.