WTF, was he PLAYING on the team?

I wish I could give you extra stars for your username!

ISIS don’t play no b-ball (do they? You wouldn’t think so, right?)

Bump bump bump.

Looking forward: At the march in Washington, I met the woman who is running to take over his vacancy in Kansas’ 4th congressional district. She was very nice and seems to have a progressive agenda. I don’t know a soul in Kansas, but I promised her I’d spread the word. You can learn more about her here:

Solid interview.

Bawse.

Well hello there, fellas...

True story. I once heard a judge ask a college kid if he was drunk when he peed on the doorknob of a girl in his dorm. The young man stood up straight and said “No, m’am!” with pride. The judge looked up and said “Oh. I wish you had been. I’d feel better about this.” Courtroom burst out laughing. 

She’s asking:

Hahaha!

To you. Others, many others, disagree. Some people are saying you’re the one who’s bitter and unfunny. In fact, many people are saying that. Now, and I say this with love, please go fuck yourself.

Awww! Did I upset you by making fun of your Führer? Are you gonna whine at me like your Glorious Leader whined at the debate last night?

Unfunny Masshole James tries too hard with Twitter jokes. Not one laugh, cancel his Kinja. Shame!

That scene and the “Dinner Party” episode of The Office definitely have some of the best awkward dinner moments ever on TV. This will be everyone at that damn dinner tonight:

Donald doesn’t drink at all, and never has. His assholishness is always 100% stone-cold sober.

BIGLY LAFFS!!! He has the best, the most best jokes! ICE has endorsed me, that might be Vanilla ICE, but people are saying... she’s a disaster! A total complete disaster! The laughingstock of the roast, people are laughing at her jokes, bigly... oh.

I’m gonna assume they both do. Neither one comes off as off-the-cuff witty.

He gets huge laughs! Like when he says he respects women! HUGE LAUGH LINE!

Everyone at their table: