Turn me on, dead man.
—The Beatles, 9# noiƚulovɘЯ

My ponify replaces "Donald Trump" with "Short-fingered Vulgarian," which made this headline really weird for me. Side note: I will never get tired of reading "Ivanka Vulgarian." Thank you, Graydon Carter, for making us laugh at love… again.

Oh, I didn't know that! I wondered why they'd get rid of an obviously fertile woman after only nine years. Does that mean Janine is safe even though her baby turns out to be messed up?

She knows that she's only got nine years max till she's sent to the colonies, right? Well, ten if she gets pregnant at the very last minute of her last posting. Maybe she just doesn't worry about it, because it's out of her control, and she just enjoys the present moment.

I was yelling the same thing. And then she did it! It was great!

I expected her to drive off the bridge over the river. Or at least crash the car into it, get out, and jump.

I'm late, but upvote for Enzo and Big Cass!

*confused look*

That's bad.

That's good!

Five bucks he gives it to Jared.

Tie them to your belt! Everyone's doing it! I hear Ivanka's line has some diamond-encrusted onions on a gold chain belt, for the working woman who has cash to burn.

Also had Martha Byrne, who made "Anna to the Infinite Power" around the same time. That is one excellent creepy-ass movie.

I thought I was the only one who remembered that! To an eight-year-old, it made perfect sense that someone would hire an eighteen-year-old to pretend to be a middle-aged advice column writer. I mean, eighteen was basically forty, right?

If anyone wants to join me in turning Florida blue, I'll buy them a beer.

Same down here with Rubio.

That's a surprisingly detailed revenge. I like it.

If you're looking to take action, check out sisterdistrict.com.

Their later stuff got more bluesy, less poppy. I really enjoyed The Walk.

Associate.