Captain America: Punching Nazis since 1941.

If we could arrange to rehome those from red states who want to move to blue and vice versa, I would be all for this. Red America would be Kansas writ large.

Trump won, and the left goes "What are the problems Trump voters are having that we ignored?" Obama won, and the right goes "KENYAN MUSLIM BURN HIM AT THE STAKE." I've never seen anyone on the right, be it pundit or random slob, try to engage with left wingers on why they hold the ideals they do. If anyone else has,…

She didn't retreat, she just advanced in another direction!

W didn't institute martial law post-9/11. I'm betting Trump is salivating waiting for the next terrorist attack on US soil so he can shut down the press and get himself some of that sweet, sweet tongue-bathing W got.

There is one House representative for the entire state of Montana. There are thirteen for NYC.

*the Alot hands you a fifth of gin, downs its own*

Whatta snowflake.

DON'T MIND IF I DO!

How many extra hours does this entitle them to?

"Why didn't you tell me what was in this order I signed??!"

You don't always have to fuck him hard; in fact sometimes that's not right to do…

It's hell on my productivity, though. I had a plan for today!

He's a virgin. A virgin who can't drive.

"Guts. And black stuff."

Also because a senator is not, in fact, a dictator.

I thought he was going to be the healthiest President that ever was. He's in better shape than all the rest of the candidates, believe me!

THIS IS KILLING ME. From the notebook, the to-do list from 2 weeks ago:

I know right? Those tents look lovely, and even one of the attendees tweeted that they're comfortable, just not what they paid for.

Not me. I want him in despair every second of every day.