I wasn't allowed to watch The Third Eye because it was clearly Satanic, though the Satanism apparently didn't taint the rest of the Nick shows. I'm kind of tempted to hunt down the episodes now just to stick it to my mom.

I've never driven drunk, but I have literally taught myself to sing the alphabet backwards just in case this might happen. I'm good up till M, then it takes me a second to work back to J, then I wing it till I hit E.

He needs to partner with A-Aron.

Will there be Frank Grillo? I'm not watching this without Frank Grillo.

Let Fsociety do their thing! Grand Jubilee for all!

Hdu ignore rapists like that? Rapists deserve recognition too!

Including Trump.

I did consider that they might, but given Roy's terrible and entirely unforeseeable mauling, I thought they might refrain from letting them on the beds.

Xenu needs braces!

Never mind— just googled "how safe is raw milk" and was scared straight. I still think I'll buy raw cream, though, and pasteurize it myself.

I've fallen a few years behind on Bucky comics, but they definitely had a present-day Thing going on in Brubaker's Cap run.

If anyone had a room filled with bunk beds and white tigers, it would be Tom Cruise.

Didn't she have TB? I feel like she did, but I'm not willing to reread the book to find out, because fuck Wuthering Heights.

I've been watching the hell out of 1970s-80s made-for-TV horror movies on YouTube recently. There are so many surprise!Satan movies out there, and it's hilarious to see famous TV actors of the time. Midnight Offerings is my favorite, starring Mary from Little House as an evil teenage witch in a black hoodie and blue…

Ironically, he wasn't killed by a crocodile.

Or because they're all crowded together and it's the only way to give each other a semblance of privacy. I miss living in a large city, where I didn't have to fucking greet everyone who walked down the street.

I wasn't impressed with Kerrygold. I did get a round of this Amish butter, though, and it's so fucking good. I think I'll try the Whole Foods cream, then the raw cream, and see if raw is so much better that it's worth the risk to feed it to my niece.

Was the Whole Foods cream better than regular supermarket cream? Basically, I just want tasty, tasty butter. I'm planning to work with my five-year-old niece on this project, who literally thanks Jesus every night for butter. Man, kids are weird.

Caffeine wakes me up, but too much makes me tired the next day. So today I'm tired, but I can't drink more caffeine, because tomorrow I'll be even more tired.

A promotion? What is it?