Field mice are way better than house mice. They’ve got that whole Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH thing going for them. And the whole Redwall series. Lots of scurrying and being scrappy and such. 9/10.

My stepdaughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl a few of days ago. Mom and baby are all good.

On Thursday I got Botox around my eyes and Juvederm around my mouth! First time for both. I am still a bit bruised and puffy from the Juvederm, still I already love the results. The Juvederm hurt like a motherfucker, though. Holy crap. The Botox needle around my face bones was cake compared to that. #LastsTwoYears…

What made me happy this week is my students are loving the book I’m reading to them. It’s called Wonder and about a boy with a facial deformity. The book is told from different character’s point of view. They made me laugh because they had to find out who is telling the next section. They went to another classroom…

IT IS NOT GOING TO BE A NIGHTMARE OF ANYTHING BECAUSE WE ARE ALL GOING TO IGNORE ANY NASTINESS. Don’t wade into the muck, ladies.

I feel like there’s been some dark shit going on lately, so to combat that I’ve decided to create a “what’s making me happy this week” thread.

Could be worse. I heard that a lot of people are getting salmon. SALMON. Look out dementors, comin at ya with dill and capers!

I got a hedgehog! I think that’s pretty spot on. I am adorable and a little prickly and like to sleep curled up in a ball.

We have a new puppy! I only had to do an 8 hour round trip in the car with my kids and my wee dog to pick her up. And we really didn’t know for sure that she’d be there (the SPCAs in this area are notoriously bad at updating their sites). But we got there before opening and we fell in love and took her home.

I’m closing on a house. It’s a lot smaller than I had wanted, but am excited - and stressed - about it. Should know for sure on Friday. Eek!

Back in the Blockbuster days, my mom picked some random movie we’d never heard of and then I sat down to watch it with Mom, Dad, big sis, and big sissy’s bff. The movie was Quills, about the Marquis de Sade.
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We told mom she wasn’t allowed to pick the movies anymore.

Imagine you’re a professional basketball player, working your whole life to achieve that goal, and you pick up a magazine and they have a model wearing your game outfit and shoes and ballcap like a costume, holding the bat by the wrong end and running the bases clockwise. You’d feel like it was absurd, and maybe mock…

I once had a long layover in a crowded airport and was lucky to at least have a place to sit. Unfortunately, that seat was next to a group of people sharing some kind of hot meal from a crockpot. A crockpot! Like with a cord and everything. How do you even get past security with a mothereffing crockpot full of food?!

You know it’s bad when “maybe he’s just smuggled a ton of cocaine” is the most comforting explanation for something.

Also a bunch of shitty trolls got ungreyed and moved over here. Like that shitbag Locomotive Jones.

Your nauseating story (scalp wax = gaaaaah!) reminded me of a training I went to once where in front of me for three days, there was a white woman with a single waist-length dread that was flat and shaped like a beaver tail. I kept wondering if she was going to use it to slap together a dam.

No way any white person with dreads is being told they have to shave their head or they can’t work at Portland’s third best food co-op. This is such bullshit.

Dusty Rose is a far, far, better name than French Montana, which sounds like territory ceded in some sort of ugly pre-revolutionary war battle.

It is pretty ironic that we don’t know for sure. It’s like your toilet leaking on the day you have company.

I usually hate Tamara, but she is much more tolerable and maybe even enjoyable this season. Point: Jesus.