they won’t let me measure the mushroom peoples’ skulls to determine their psychological defects. caps. stools. hats. whatever the hell those things are. also the girl one has hair, the fuck is that about

man the first competitive presidential election in American history featured allegations that if Jefferson were elected the literal fire-and-brimstone-satan-made-incarnate-upon-the-world apocalypse would occur, and it was pretty sedate by the standards of the ones that came after it. 

weird how the kind of liberal pissed off at the Justice Dems gets hopping mad when some uppity little minority puts their incompetence on public display

well, according to Pelosi and company, political capital.

why no rejoicing? you asked for this. you proclaimed the people trying to stop it naive children, who needed to learn a lesson.

got ‘em

remember back when you were telling the congresswomen trying to stop this to sit down, shut up, and sign off on it.

the ~1500 professional-class liberals who were really excited to vote for Hillary Clinton

why would your leaders ever do that, friend. did you think they were doing this because they actually thought you were a better class of person than these kids?

remember how when AOC and company tried to rein this shit in, Democratic leadership attacked them for being “unrealistic”

always be sure to check for the ring

someone ran a democratic campaign for president centered on catering to your friends who vote republican. remind me how it went for her, again.

PARODY, PARODY

remember our friend, the Trump voter, who swears that the guy on the TV couldn’t be working against him? remind me: what is it that he says, whenever the news says a thing that is contrary to the belief that Trump is his friend.

your positions are founded on premises you cannot support, and when those premises are questioned your sole defense is to whine about how questioning them ought to be against the rules.

you know how Trump voters keep on swearing to themselves that no, really, any day now, he’s going to turn around and fulfill all the promises. he’ll stop ignoring me, and start helping me. he can change! i just have to believe in him! why would my friend on the teevee want to hurt me. 

you, as you have consistently suggested on every issue that might bring you into conflict with conservatives, on the grounds that attempting to address the problem might prove difficult.

right, i forgot, giving up because trying might be hard technically counts as “something.”

I look forward to the sequels to “You Don’t Have To Yell”:

“the band’s appeal has just gotten... more selective.’