I'm impressed that Stella McCartney actually designed anything that could be classified as cute.

And yet, like all tutorials, she ends up looking fantastic, and I end up looking like Pennywise.

This would be awesome even on mute. The hands are perfect!

"Two messed up eyes are better than one perfect eye" Totally my makeup mantra.

I have a friend who did it as a teen, and when I asked her what it was like, she said, "Sting-y."

Anyone choosing Shrooms over Opium has never had Morphine. Also probably listens to Phish.

G & T every night. Once I asked my husband if we had a problem because we had 6 different kinds of gin on the bar at once.

I like the IDEA of Quaalude. It just sounds peaceful. Like getting a hug from a drunk koala.

Rum tastes like college and bad dance floor makeouts to me. Gin wins.

OK!

Hendricks on the rocks with a cucumber <3 always and forever

Except when it's Pimms o'clock.

Both are useful in mixed drinks, but if we're simply considering them on their own merits, it's no contest. Gin is the superior spirit.

The only people I know who drink Absinthe are goths. The insufferable goths that take themselves too seriously, not the fun, "yes we realize how campy this is" goths.

It's no contest. A dry, gin martini is my jam. MY JAM.

I feel so British but there is no time when a Gin and Tonic isn't the right drink.

Many years ago, before I met my wife, I was in love with a lingerie model. As we discussed the possibility of marriage, she explained that there are important things to be agreed upon before two people attempt to create a happy, harmonious home with one another. One of those things was the position of the toilet…

Over. We aren't heathens. Jesus Christ.

Under. Because