I wish it was Elizabeth Warren.

admittedly, I don't know much about Miley Cyrus, but does she ever make a regular face? Ever?

I tip my flying nun hat to you.

2/3 of my children had reflux. The takeaway being I'm plastered in vomit on the regular. So all I could picture was that dress ruined. I know it's not the point. I know. But maybe she DGAF and the people doing the shoot were clueless.

would hold your purse and then pay for beer.

FIRE WILL RAIN FROM THE SKY AND WE WILL SALT THEIR FIELDS

Yeah. 100 future Dutch Ovener.

some kids are dicks. I love my oldest son but he is about 25% a dick. He's got...not a mean streak, but a dick streak. I STILL LOVE YOU PEANUT.

on your mark get set and go now, gotta dream and we just know now, we're gonna make our dreams come truuue!

I know. I am usually on here when my kids are playing with each other. I can read news, but no way do I want then coming over to see what's happening.

That book was one of the best I've ever read.

at first I thought it might be like Strange Fruit. But then no. Nope. Just another asshole glamorizing rape. *Assault* Now With Extra Glamour!

all I can hear is everyone on You Are What You Eat. Kebab.

I live in Pennsylvania and nofuckingwaytothenopittydodah am I watching.

I had this miserable crazy woman come every week when i worked at Starbucks and I quit because I fantasized about assaulting her. I still regret not doing something to her. God . HATE. " You did not count my ice cubes! I like 15 ice cubes! YOU HAVE RUINED MY DAY!" She was insanely controlling and personally offended…

coffee customers are the most pretentious, annoying, needy pains in the ass ever. I mean yes, your drink is five bucks but COME ON.

the asshole tax is a real thing.

when I worked at showboat, this one ass would come in and demand a half scoop of sorbet. But I couldn't give him a small scoop. It had to be scooped and cut in half.

we use three organic sugars and organic half n half. My husband who grew up dirt floor poor is now spoiled and has to have it like that. It's pretty funny. Seriously though, the sugar has a slight caramel flavor that is super yummy in coffee .

Well I had to stop watching because i was headed straight to Ugly Cry.