Mike Judge already correctly predicted the present with <i>Idiocracy</i>.

We used to get stoned and call the Benny Hinn donation line and get the CSR on the other side to speak in tongues with us.

The Onion nails it: https://local.theonion.com/new-parents-wisely-start-college-fund-that-will-pay-for-1819576174

As the parent of a teenager going through FAFSA season, all I can add is that college tuition is way more expensive than you can ever imagine.

“If only Henrik Lundqvist were alive to see it.”

I’m in favor of having his corpse visit every NHL arena at least once during the 2070-71 season on a goodwill tour.

The 90s were what? Like 10 years ago right?

Keep your knife sharp. That helps.

That also could have described my unsuccessful career as a journalist.

Taking massive amounts of money for minimal effort sounds like anyone’s dream job.

Sigh...I’ve worked for a large bureaucracy for too long because my first thought was “damn, the driver of the red vehicle is gonna get fired for damaging two machines.”

Is this the story you’re talking about? https://local21news.com/news/local/police-arrest-23-year-old-ukrainian-man-for-posing-as-harrisburg-high-school-student

I’m imagining Mike Pence not allowing Mother to read so she has to Tweet using symbols like the women in The Handmaid’s Tale.

The problem arises when the wearer considers it a “mild scent” but those around him realize than the perfume/cologne is an assault on the nostrils.

Motorists who feel that the passing lane is their own private travel lane really drive me insane (New York drivers I’m talking to you). The law in most states is KEEP RIGHT EXCEPT TO PASS.

Mine goes to eleven LOL.

I always wonder what people who are way to old to be high school students are carrying in those overstuffed backpacks on the NYC subways.

In New Jersey, scores of New York motorists cruise along doing the speed limit in the passing lane on the Garden State Parkway and are oblivious to the cars whizzing past them in the right lane. I swear my state could cure its budget woes if the State Police aggressively ticketed out-of-state drivers who fail to keep…

I have difficulty using an “inside voice,” which, unfortunately has led to me leaking some office gossip beyond my cubicle walls.

The Beatles would have become a prog rock band in the 1970s and released a triple LP with average song length of 7 minutes that dealt with Hobbits and druids. Then in ‘79 they would have gone new wave with skinny ties and synths.