As soon as I saw this I was instantly reminded of her Xtina days and the Stripped album that I listened to non-stop as a pre-teen. She’s beautiful and especially the last couple years she just looks so damn good.

I don’t like the cakey makeup, her foundation is FAR too orange. But damn if that hair colour/lipstick…

“Remember Coach?......where is he?”

ok but you should watch the episode where Cece and Jess get high and watch Anne of Green Gables for Cece’s bachelorette party. They talk about how much they want to wreck Gilbert Blythe and it was the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen on the television.

Also, he “can’t finish construction on his home” and she’s throwing construction materials in his yard makes it sound like his people are fucking up and she’s over it.

I’ll show you all.

Not an unreasonable assumption that the woman in front of him is is wife? Perhaps they took the grandkids as some kind of treat.

Kris telling Kim, “You were married for 72 days, that was like normal!” is the best thing I have heard all week.

Lisa Rinna gets me.

Our first bulldog used to sneak up on my parents’ bed when they left the house, and when she heard the car pull into the driveway she’d hop down and be sitting at the front door to greet them. Unfortunately she lacked the the physical skills to fluff up the pillows, which would be flattened out in the exact shape of a…

*I* wanted to hug them and I was sitting across from them! They were legitimately so upset. It was unreal. Restored my faith in humanity. And bros.

Please, everyone knows I get the last french fry. It’s what to PUT on the shared french fries that gets us. Every spritz of malt vinegar he puts on is another 1% of community property I get in the divorce.

I’ve never been to jezebel.com.

She’s an idiot. My kids had a nanny and went to full day preschool (i.e., daycare) at like age 2. They’re 10 and 12 and I’m not shitting you when I say that people routinely tell me that they are unusually awesome. They can handle their own shit, they like to travel the world, they don’t force you to feed them only…

(I’m feeling like I had a lot of feelings about this and I’m trying to get them organized in the right way, so this might not make a whole lot of sense. And as a white lady, I might misstep, please don’t yell at me, I’m trying.)(I’m super grey anyway, so most of y’all probably won’t even see this!)

Both of her parents live with them, actually! (I am a semi-closeted Teigen fan.) So yeah, Gramps and Grammar Pepper get to spoil their grandkids for a few hours and remember when Chrissy was that size. THE HORROR.

That’s the scene I always think of when people bring their babies into the bar. “Wow. Look at you...you have a baby...in a bar...”

“...this one’s still on the tit, so I can cart him anywhere!”

and spent a good hard think on the virtues of wood wicks vs regular wicks. and tried to figure out wtf that object d’art is in the nate berkus aisle.

I was the go-to babysitter in my neighborhood because I made it a point to have the kids in bed and asleep by the time the parents came home. (How else am I going to eat ice cream and enjoy that sweet, sweet, premium cable?)

My mom and my sister’s MIL literally threw my sister in the shower, colluded with her husband and kicked her out for their night alone with the baby. I suspect that my niece remembers nothing.