I don’t know if I should laugh or cry so I’m sitting in my kitchen drinking prosecco (OFFICIALLY ON VACATION Y”ALL) doing both.

Being classy assholes we end up buying several hundred dollars worth of event tickets to whichever lucky local cultural organization sent us a postcard that day. One year we end up with basically season tickets to the symphony; this year it was touring Broadway shows.

I had sinus surgery in March and was so drunk on Vicodin that I received random Amazon packages for the next month. My favorite surprise I sent myself was leggings covered in anarchist cat faces.

I think it depends if you want more than two or if you would do it just to make your MIL happy. If you want more than two, do it. If you don’t, enjoy them with your partner and feel fancy and don’t worry about registering for more.

My mother was to-our-face happy for us but secretly upset that my husband and I eloped. But then I gave her carte blanche to plan a wedding celebration for us when we back home for a holiday and it worked out splendidly. She got to have all the moments that were important to her (cake cutting, first dance, seeing me…

I remember that episode! The consultant certainly earned her commission on that.

Sorry for the late reply to this, but even just practicing putting your face in the water is a major part of feeling comfortable in the summer. This can be as simple as starting with blowing bubbles in the water with your mouth, then moving on to blowing bubbles in the water with your nose with your eyes out, then…

Mine isn’t being chased so much as it being stalked/hunted by someone trying to kill me, to the point where even if I wake up from a dream and go back to sleep, I fall right back into it.

I remember dreams maybe 5-10% of the time. My husband remembers dreams maybe 85-90% of the time and recounts them in great detail when he wakes up. Even if it is 4 am. And I was previously asleep.

I had a neighbor do that while I was slipping on ice and trying to pick up my 20-lb dog’s poop from her yard. She was gesturing to a pile of poo that was made by something at least the size of a human.

The upside to working at a startup is that this is essentially my work uniform. Company t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, and some days I brush my hair.

Back when I was dating I always offered to split the check but was always secretly thrilled when the dude turned me down and picked up the bill.

At my college they had a class called “Freshman 101” that I was able to opt out of (Honors College perk whoo!) that was a combination of teaching kids time management/study skills but also things like how to set up a bank account, balance a check book, etc. I heard the high schools in my school district were starting…

I was so used to being nerdy in high school that when boys finally started asking me out my senior year I had no clue that we weren’t just hanging out as friends. Like years later friends would be like, “man you were ice cold after that date we had” and I’d be like “whadda what?”

There was a rumor about her and Orlando Bloom after his divorce from Miranda Kerr and I could see Legolas knowing how to please a lady.

I read it as Tom Brady and was SO CONFUSED.

The Roddick-Deckers are major supporters of the Special Olympics. My dad has been to the National Games a couple times as a coach and has said many times that they were incredibly nice people who made themselves available to the athletes and interacted with them at meals, came to different events to cheer, etc. Far…

Your friends that go talking about it for the 4 weeks before and the FOUR FUCKING MONTHS AFTER.

Well well played!

If I hear one more damn thing about the playa...