Buddy, your kinja usage seems to be for defending Trump, calling out black people, and defending Barstool. You are the the stereotypical “stoolie”.

This guy looks like a reject from Bill Simmons’ extended universe of college friends characters. I presume he goes by a nickname like “Worm” or “Gooch.”

I mean yes all of this, but this is just the format use don Deadspin for anyone on the field. 

Imagine for a moment, that you are a female civil rights activist in Putin’s Russia. Now, you know that no matter what you do, if you actually succeed in your goal of drawing attention to the horrendous state of human rights in your country, you are going to go to jail. And you will be abused. And you may never get…

Those four had enough speed to make the USMNT starting XI

Or maybe they’re one of the few states that needed a law about first cousin marriage?

Weren’t those tasers?  They looked a little bulky for pistols, and that grey thing on the end looked like the cap that blows off when it deploys.

Where the hell were Ricky and Bubbles?

The best part is when she fell through the ceiling. 

And here I thought a Deadspin reader could get satire? 

Another Deadspin article just trying to capitalize on this guy’s success by reporting horrible things he said in public and on tape! You guys really need to stop being so jealous of that group and their incel fans. It's getting embarrassing! 

“Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college”

“See it’s okay because I’m also physically repulsive.”

Serena is a PED user. She had a TEU during the Olympics. She hid in a saferoom to avoid a random drug test. She hasn’t shown much of a physical decline well into her 30's in a sport where you’re typically washed up at 27.

Sounds like Mirka has the best backhand in the family.

Thank you.

This is worse than the “Trump’s third term” joke.

We’d probably just end up with Don Jr as President. He’s next in the line of succession, right?

Cardiac arrest, not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need.

It’s going to be really interesting to see how far Bruce Arena takes this squad with home field advantage.