I know right?! Cubs fans are so silly for thinking the 2017 team is good... I mean what made them think that??? What recent success would possibly make them think that they are any good...

...

Ichiro Suzuki had a Hall-of-Fame career in Japan, and followed that up with a second one in MLB.

I’m partial to the story of when he was on the Mets and saw John Olerud wearing a helmet while playing first base and said “When I played in Toronto, there was a guy who played first base while wearing a helmet”. Olerud replied. “Rickey, that was me”

Best Rickey story of all time is him framing an uncashed $1 million check, causing an enormous panic in the A’s accounting department when it came time to reconcile the books.

For me it’s like surprise Christmas in July.

holy shit it’s happening already? fuck where did the summer go?

Didn’t need any text for this one. Figured you’d just write the headline and lorem ipsum the rest since nobody would read it.

The new Big Baller shoes are out.

Thank goodness. We were all worried that you’d find new soccer stories to misreport.

Sure, Eckersley doesn’t know how rough it is on pitchers today. David Price has completed 16 of his 259 career starts, and Eckersley completed 17.

Really? You make a drug reference regarding how mellow Jamaica was and you pick Valium? JAMAICA?

Spieth: [walks past caddie, attempts nut slap]

“Anonymous source suggests Kyrie Irving will join PSG”

Her name is Lemon Pepper, obvs.

We call that a Motown special.

Any time you dial a Detroit area code there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll get either a hooker or a Little Caesers Pizza. Sometimes both.

Can’t wait to see what this lil’ guys celebration is.

Marchman, cut it with the flirting and just get Benetti on the Deadcast.