German Engineering at its finest: Reus da 5'11"

I think a better, and more appropriate costume, would be Roger Goodell:

Urntt! Wrong answer: We were looking for police brutality and violation of civil rights. Try again.

Reasons why black people riot: They want to loot a new TV.

Well damn. He was almost octagone.

Call me when somebody leaves Taco Bell without a damaged rear-end.

or struggling to get out of a leather couch.

This is actually progress for Les Bleus. The last time there was a soccer related incident involving pantless Frenchmen and a confused, retreating child, Karim Benzema and Franck Ribery had to stand trial.

Pursey Harvin

More like No Balance, amirite?

Chicago Red Bu- oh wait

Sacramento Burger Kings

Kevin Love: Whoa, ad patch?

It's good to see Marbury back in the acting game. I personally enjoyed his dramatic acting in the long-running, James Dolan produced Jesus Christ...Superstar??? a lot more though.

Not a huge surprise. People on the run after beating their girlfriends make up 92% of all Extended Stay America guests.

I thought all the war machines were in Missouri this week.

I think War Machine misunderstood the concept of how beating his woman would result in an extended stay.

You call him an Idiot, but he was immediately signed by DC United after the game.

Now that he's no longer in San Diego, his offense will probably start showing up three hours sooner than it did in the West.

Can I get a cup of coffee?