Not knowing who did the mods, how hard it was rode, or how wet it was put away, gotta go ND with this one.

Special. Exclusive. Fun. Brain-meltingly fast.

“I want something interesting and unique that not every idiot owns. Exclusivity.”

Corvettes are only considered exclusive to guys who own Corvettes. 

I think there’s an honest conversation to be had about whether this individual is truly a goofus maloofus or more of a dorkus malorkus.

“lotion”

Remember when trolls just stuck to the internet? If this guy did this in my neighborhood I’d put weird lotion on his door handles.

Selling dude is definitely proud of his asking price:

I can’t hear you above all the laughing

Also you get that bullet proof Italian reliability that Alfa Romeo is famous for.

• Talked to God

What! No Mitsubishi Eclipse? The Path of Totality is a Passat anagram Ass Tap

Damn dude, even I am not a Brad fan and got the humor here. You should chill a little. 

Hear me out here: buy a Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag.

All of these videos have a strong stench of fakeness, an attempt to get their name (and more importantly face) “out there” so they can become, say, an internet celeb. Social media fame chasers have made me skeptical of 99.4% of the crazy shit that’s supposed to be legit.

“Immaculate Ejection”

Obama once said something that stuck with me.  Something along the lines of: if you and I can’t agree on a common set of facts, we have no chance of making progress together.

The only way to stop a bad guy with a front loader is a good guy with a front loader. 

Whyyyyy are we giving more press to these morons?  Stop it!

Every single conspiracy wacko I have ever met has been incapable of handling uncertainty, chance, bad luck, chaos and randomness. They are such control freaks that they cannot handle that bad shit just happens. Effing small minded cowards.