Hmm, visit the White House in a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity or stay at Baylor and get raped by the football team. Decisions, decisions.

So you've never heard of Baylor before, huh?

It’s Baylor, so probably the school’s shitty administration. 

They’re both truly incredible, but i feel like Crosby would be higher if he had normal injuries and not concussions that cost him the equivalent of like a year or two of playing.

Blues Players Just Straight Up Start Whaling On Each Other In Practice

salad’ll kill you faster than raw cookie dough, these days. do whatever you want, kids. we’re all gonna die anyway.

Yup, I’m just sick over it.

Some people are immune to these kinds of infectious comments.

This is an excellent comment. Sadly I think it flu over the heads of many readers. 

Nice! I say their first three games are played against the Canadiens to see who really won the 1919 Stanley Cup. Influenza be damned!

23 hours, catching 69 Pokémon, besting eight Gym Leaders, and beating the Elite Four

Mr. Mime is a terrible pokemon and making him horrifying was the best possible choice

“This is a faked story clearly dreamt up by Communist Clinton and Overspend Obama to hurt Republicans in the midterms!” - My dad, more than likely

Just some passionate, patriotic individuals. People who love their nation. Nationalists, I believe they’re called.

GOP: Let’s immediately begin an investigation into Hillary Clinton sending a bomb to herself!

Clearly there are very fine people on both sides

Smoltz had just finished saying “Nunez is a very good bad ball hitter” when Wood threw a ball at his ankles and Nunez golfed it out of the park.

Additional video captured during the flight: