Just when I subscribe... this happens.

Cockatoo Cocktail Time, everyone. I'm sure its feathers will make a lovely tablescape.

Ingrid found it hard to apply the first lesson she learned at the Naomi Campbell School of Philosophy: ladies who live in glass apartments shouldn't throw cell phones.

"It's about the fact that there's now fairly incontrovertible proof that it doesn't matter if you break the rules or not, if you're a famous athlete you can pretty much write your own rules."

Oh, hey. It's a new Girl Talk song.

No matter how far technology comes, an electronic magazine will never have perfume samples.

@vamusical: After I graduated from the University of Maryland with a degree in microbiology...

So cream-based sauces are always bad for you.

@singing_femmebot: Yes it does. Thank you. And, I think I'll have to stick to shiny lip balm.

I'm not good at being a lady. Why would one choose a stain over a regular old lipstick?

I wanted to point out that Jamie Leigh Jones was a contractor for KBR, a former subsidiary of Haliburton and not the company proper... but... I can't defend Halliburton. But KBR might be worse. And, really, just like Liz Lemon's Brooklyn Without Limits magic jeans... everything is Halliburton.

@autonaimee: Aaah! You're right. I have New Year's on the brain! So mad at myself.

I'm slightly disappointed that Elton's son's middle name is Levon; it should be his first! Because he would be a good man. Especially if he were born on New Year's Day.

@Title IX from Outer Space: It's all so clear now.

@Torchness: You must be one of the sandwich makers.

I'll admit it. I'm a woman and I don't care about women's sports.

Curse me and my sweaty eyeballs.

Another single season martyr. I hope it joins the cherished ranks of My So-Called Life and Freaks and Geeks.

The worst physical representation most of us have to worry about is an unflattering Facebook photo. Glad my tharms and bloated booze face aren't circulating on a coin.

It's like someone didn't clean out the t-shirt screen when making nothing but Fun Run shirts.