I'm a sucker and I love this show. I'm sorry. I know that this makes me part of the problem, not the solution.

@Uncommon_Whore: More like borehead! Amiright?

Well, I think I know what my passive-aggressive mother will be giving me for Christmas this year.

I tried to read this quote. I really did. But I could see only BEAR EYES.

One meme to rule us all. I love it.

@Jessica Coen: Saying this in the content of the article would be nice.

Jessica, thanks for taking the time to post about this and address concerns. I'm sure this shitstorm is causing a lot of headaches for you and the rest of the Jezitors, and it seems other sites in the Gawker family haven't been as considerate to their readers.

@drunkexpatwriter: Mastercard wasn't hacked. The web site was brought down by hackers. No account information was compromised.

I thought The Rapture wasn't scheduled until May 21, 2011.

If only Alphonso Ribeiro had been on her list in 1992. Who wouldn't watch Barbra Walters do The Carlton?

I hope she doesn't change her name to Ke$$ha to reflect her success.

@Zombies make the heart grow fonder: Wow, I totally didn't get that this was a moniker. I just assumed it was Ice-T's wife, Coco.

Incorporating this salvia scandal into a Miley Cyrus Show sketch on SNL would be like, pretty cool.

I have a few Star Wars toys (the new ones), still in the box, that I am unable to sell and no longer have storage space for.

Or cats just get too much joy from the boxes from human presents to necessitate buying anything.

Sometimes I like to just go hang out on the couch outside the "ladies' lounge" at fancy places, pull out a flask and greet the newcomers, talk about politics.

My office party is tonight. It's my first year at the company, so I'm going to be extra cautious. We're very small and really just going to a fancy dinner. I hope I don't embarrass myself by stuffing my facehole with too many delicious lobster tails.

Mental Floss did a great job separating the truth and lies on Cash Cab:

I assume that the ball Snooki will be inside of will be orange. Can't have a pale NYE ball.

I'm just going to take this as I wear Shape-Ups clothing and become the human version of the Shake Weight and the personification of weight loss gimmicks.