Though I like the idea, the execution is shoddy.

Khama, khama, khama, khama khama kuh-mean-Ian.

On the plus side, the rest of us who have called an ex or an enemy at a random time look a lot less crazy as a result of her actions.

I wish my absent dad would have taught me how to start a barbecue grill and the appropriate time to add the food. One weekend my roommate, bf and I were all ready to cook out and had no idea how to get the fire going without using a whole bottle of lighter fluid.

@captivagrl: This is the one Christmas decoration I own. Because it needs me.

Whatevs. #10 is amazing. Imagine them blowing with a breeze, like little Rockettes.

Tempted to Photoshop one of the Charmin Bears' expressions onto the Masturbating Bear...

@they call me ginger: YES! You win. That's one of the few episodes I really remember from my youth.

My mom doesn't say anything about my weight, but she comments often on her own and other people and it stings just as much.

@pajamarama: It happens on other Gawker sites fairly frequently, but the backlash is far more intense here. Deadspin is running regular columns on Duke basketball and Miami Heat, which is pretty much like this to those guys. Remember the excessive cross-posting for Christine O'Donnell's "One Night Stand"? Gawker has…

You guys! He studied in France! Isn't that just so sexy and interesting? I bet he has multiple pictures where he uses the Eiffel Tower as a phallic device. He probably calls fries "pomme frites" and knows the difference between wine regions. And if he can make decisions about food, then he can make decisions about how…

"What kind of stuffing automatically comes inside the bird?"

@poppy: I know, right?

Damn. A very similar situation happened to me when I was 20 and I certainly did not handle myself with such grace, nor did I have any sort of emotional clarity. I was just mad and miserable all summer.

Well, I was going to complain about cramps.... nevermind!

@lalie (apologetic mess): They must be soul mates.

@AtomiClash humanitarian mizanthrope: It did. Thank you.

They will never be able to navigate around the sneeze guards at salad bars, but they can do it together.

Thank you, The Onion.

Helen finally proved her mother's heartbreak advice to be false. There aren't many fish in the sea.