Now I can push open the bathroom door, stare creepily at my cat on the toilet, and idly bat at his feet like he does to me. How do you like it now, Groves?

We can't let them congregate near the cockpit. I saw Baby Geniuses (and SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2). I know they can talk; they're just pretending to be feeble and pathetic.

This announcement makes me smize, only with my face, not my eyes.

@queenieinmanhattan: Me too. I call it Whole Paycheck. I prefer to hang out in the corporate farm aisles of Aldi, where I can purchase many oranges, not just one.

@wednesdayam: Don't worry about Joel, he always has the Brinks truck named Wendy Williams.

I believe this is a pregnant paws...

@pinupgirl: The University. Hawk power.

@o-line: How did I forget every Chiefs game because they are "havens of homosexuality"! There is nothing like pounding a few beers and watching that high-class exchange between Chiefs fans and the Westboros.

Fred Phelps HQ are within an hour drive of Kansas City, and I have encountered them protesting several seemingly non-offensive locations around town. They wake up with nothing on their to-do lists and head into town with their signs and park it while they come up with a reason to protest it.

Thank God I got them a toaster for Christmas. I do have to re-wrap it though.

Catelynn and Tyler seem like such a solid couple. Is it because they chose to give their baby up for adoption and do not have the added stress of parenthood like the other couples on the show? Or are they just naturally awesome together? I can't tell.

Sigh. Another blue shirt with purple triangles.

I can tell you exactly where that meat thermometer because I'm "always burning the steaks" can go...

And now Deep Thoughts, with O-Line

@dSiz: Glad you enjoyed. I felt lame posting a Friends picture, but his music still makes me laugh out loud twelve years later. And, having had to sit through my fair share of terrible musical performances by loved ones, I feel the pain.

No one should ever burst the bubble of a wordless sound poet.

@Maharani: Guilty.

I can't wait for my first issue of Jennifer Aniston Will Die Alone Weekly to arrive in the mail.

@Thus Spake KATE!: So very true. The machine is always hungry, and no one is willing or able to unplug it.

I hate Axe and all of its products. However, if that team of women could tackle him and forcibly wash his hair in the middle of a one-word-named club, I would be grateful.