Some of these dresses conjure the smell of a Memorial Day basement sale at Dillard's.

Play-doh scrunchies are also a bad idea.

If your family tree is an orchard... you might be a 99-year-old Jerusalem woman.

@EarlyGrey: I have a phobia of looking at my own knees. But that's mostly because of their stubble status.

@futuremouse: I see a bunch of people doing the pee dance.

@morninggloria: I don't want to be a stump!

@o-line: oh snap, the pic went away in my edit. Rewind.

I love you, home photo-smart printer!

@CurtCole: Elton and his husband would make wonderful parents. I know that his age is also a factor... maybe we can let him adopt the rest of the Lohan kids.

I don't know which KMart Martha was visiting before, but uh, someone should tell her it's always been dirty and not great.

I like it, but I wish that it encompassed additional forms of sexual assault (groping, etc.)

@futuremouse: But I thought Obama was the Grim Reaper. Now I'm really confused!

@EndangeredRed: Haha. I like that they thought of the gloves would be a nice touch to hide their true race, but kept wearing the mall walker uniform.

@alexherrera: Disagree. It was "inside herself". They totally meant her vagina.

Me gusta!

I didn't know that Jason Whitlock started writing for The Onion.

Of course he still matters. He's Forever Jung.

@LaFitzy: It's his sugar lumps.

@Michelle13: He was an undrafted player and the Eagles had 7 wide receivers. His stats aren't great, but he will get picked up by another team, hopefully one where he can really get some catches.

Is it just me, or does she kind of look like an evil version of Hillary Clinton?