@Eleanor Ramilly: Huge pet peeve! Epic! Also, when the cheeseburger has a fancy name, like The Big Cheese, people feel the need to look it up, point, and read it with their finger. Gah!

As we learned earlier this week, this lady was probably just attempting to strengthen her bones with the magic anti-osteoperosis properties of beer. Unfortunately, it looks like she is going to need all of the bone density she can get.

Last week, a man was sentenced to six months in jail for yawning during his trial. Joe Francis is suffocating in an ever-growing mountain of legal trouble and intentionally farts his way through it. Clearly, Justice has 20/20 vision but suffers from anosmia.

This girl could sneeze glitter, be the most charming person in the world and join MENSA, but most media outlets would neglect all of that and continue to call her the "big" one.

I can see the crazy sign outside a town hall meeting now: "Cancer Schmancer is not the Answer!" And of course, the loon job picked up by the local news "This is just another Obama plan to kill my mother! Wait your cancer out and quit overreacting."

Armpit dingleberries are definitely better than a smelly armpit or any Axe product.

Is this like rice? The white stuff is gluttonous and wonderful; the brown stuff is ok and healthy, but it tastes healthy.

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: All I can think of is the Exorcist parody on SNL. "Your mother sews socks in Hell!" Maybe that's what the quiz writer meant by "Sew socks"?

Is there a follow-up quiz entitled "Are You Ready For Divorce?" I'll go ahead and make one really quickly. Just take out all of the can's and do's from the last ten questions and replace them with "How tired of [insert domestic activity] are you?" or "Has he stopped appreciating [insert domestic activity]?"

@nyc-caribbean-ragazza: I believe this killer is still at large and still killing; there was a piece about it in a recent Newsweek. Unless there is another one, God forbid.

@ShanaElmsford: Well said.

@lilbobbytables is a la-di-da feminist: That quote really bothered me, too. If I went up to her and told her what I really thought of her "best self" and shameful behavior, would she be making herself feel bad?

@jobsworth: And it's a magazine cover with no other objects for scale. She could be a Polly Pocket and it wouldn't matter. Making someone "taller" just means to stretch them out!

@Theomeny: Their euthenasia policy baffles me. They also wanted to put down Michael Vick's surviving dogs without even trying to rehabilitate them.

What a beautiful baby. I hope that in the Taliban-free Afghanistan she can continue to show all of her beautiful face in public if she desires.

@Blueberry26: Chateau Cardboard is not a bottom. Drinking straight from the liberated wine bladder and squeezing the last drops out like toothpaste may be. But then again, there's always that jerk Carlo Rossi and his jug.

@k_wood: Have you seen their print advertisements? What I wouldn't give to open up a Rolling Stone and not feel like a huge jerk for complaining about a broken nail as a cleft palate child stares back at me. I'd volunteer for weeks to make those ads go away, I mean heal the children. Well, obviously, there's one…

@AllieCaulfield: She'll have to beat out my Siamese cat. Frankly, my cat is far more human looking.

The whole "dance live believe" nonsense in the background really bothers me. He has positive words for his readers when he is trying to sell them something, but nothing but degrading and hateful statements for the subjects of his articles. "Love yourself, but hate everyone else" seems to be his misguided message.

@Chamalla, now gainfully employed: I was thinking it sounded like the baglady's Jezebel.