Quick Change is soooo good. I will usually say, "although I saw no coconut" if someone says something about being prepared to do something.

I hate to be that guy, but my username/avatar require it:

I fully expect a Breitbart article about Hillary being seen departing Schlafly's home, covered in blood.

No. I don't even know if that existed during my Morrisson phase (1980-1982-ish).

Never been a huge RHCP fan, but I soooo agree with the Doors comment. I loved them when I was 18 and thought Morrison was a genius. I can listen to, maybe, 3 songs all the way through now.

"Papa" is what we called my grandfather on my mother's side. It's what I will prefer that my grandkids call me, should I ever have any. As of now, only my cat and my kids' cats are required to call me that.

What a friend of mine first moved there and I went to visit, a local that we were riding in a car with said, "In about a half mile, you're going to go right on n***er boulevard." When my friend was like, "What?!?" he says, "Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard."

The thing with Florida is its all extremes, no middle ground. The people there are either some of the best people you've ever known, or the worst, white-trash, racist rednecks you've ever met.

I did some research on false rape accusations for my sociology class last semester. The study that is generally regarded by sociologists as the best puts the number of false rape accusations at 2% - 4%, but with a huge caveat: It states that it's probably impossible to determine the actual percentage because in many…

I don't care much for EVH guitar solos, but he's one of the best rhythm players of all time.

Yup - and Gary Cherone is leaps and bounds better than Hagar. The problem is that they're both much worse at fronting Van Halen then Diamond Dave.

No, it's the guy from the latest version of the Alice Cooper band, Tommy Henricksen.

Seriously. The band has Joe Perry, Alice Cooper's lead guitarist and a keyboard player that also plays guitar at least a third of the time. Depp is completely unnecessary.

Doing what you want and not caring what others think has always been a big component of cool. Granted, being in a band with Johnny Depp in 2016 kinda damages the cool factor, but Joe Perry's always been the cool one in Aerosmith (Steven's just a fame whore now and the other guys are too dumb to be very cool). I…

A bunch of close friends going out and playing songs they enjoy and not giving a shit what all the "cool kids" think is actually the epitome of cool.

What's worse is that many cities hire only people with military backgrounds. A coworker's son can't find a job as a cop despite having graduated with high marks from the police academy because he's not a veteran.

I have newfound respect for Poison if they were on the same label as Mojo Nixon. For the record, I don't hate Poison; they were one of the better hair metal bands of the day and their drum sounds (I've done some audio engineering) were always amazing. It's just that when they were huge, it was the peak of hair metal…

Wow. Saying GnR is the corporate band, while Poison is the indie band. Just wow. I get that Geffen threw a shit ton of money at GnR (Slash's first heroin rehab was at a fancy resort in Hawaii before Appetite even came out). But Poison is a fucking indie band? Please.

It's funny that you think of them as posers, since at the time, they seemed to me like the only ones that weren't posers. They definitely seemed like hard core drug addicts that would stab their grandmother for smack money.

Why? Seriously - I mean, I know people that hate Axl's voice, so that could set them off, but I've seen videos of them performing at their worst and they were always tight and better than people give them credit for (like Aerosmith in the late 70s).