I have a metal straw for my morning iced coffee...I feel like I have to be extra careful with it though...like stop to have a sip if I’m walking because I’ve come close to knocking out my teeth with the damn thing. Maybe I’m just super-uncoordinated though.

I switched to metal straws after everyone made scrunchy faces over the plastic ones. Now everyone is making scrunchy faces over how there’s no way they can be hygienic. I just want to drink my water and keep my lipstick on my lips. Ya know?

If I were ever an NFL player who scored a touchdown my celebration would be so obscene and tasteless that decades from now when people are trying to explain the reasons why players are fined for dancing in the end zone, they’d point to me and say “that’s why.”

Right there with you as a fellow atheist. I wish we could excommunicate Richard Dawkins.

TH was great as Loki, with his slippery, serpentine charm. But he is not Bond material as Idris so clearly is. The whole Taylor Swift thing was uncomfortable to watch, made him look foolish and thirsty. Good he’s moved on.

“I see this error often in my line of work. A writer crafts perfectly fine copy, and then an editor swoops in to punch things up—self-awareness and accuracy be damned”

Seconded!! Those PBS chicks are a powerful front, man.

$100 from me as well. And I would be willing to provide snacks, too, and I would be happy to cater to any dietary restrictions as long as I am provided with a list of those restrictions at least a week and a half in advance for planning/shopping/preparation purposes.

He let Tom Cruise walk all over him. I mean...

i would literally pay like $100 to watch that. every cent would be well spent.

Yea, if you can’t out-wit Ryan Lochte (the man who couldn’t remember what the parts of a shoe were called) you do not deserve to be on the news.

I’m always expecting Lauer to look at the male he’s inevitably fawning over and say, “Bros before ho’s. Am I right?”

Oh my god. That would be epic!

I would pay money, like real pay per view money to see that moderation and debate.

Sam Bee will eat Trump as a snack before breakfast.

Matt Lauer has always been terrible. He couldn’t even hold Ryan Lochte’s feet to the fire, and he was expected to handle Trump’s word salad? This show was always going to be a disaster.

Maybe they share the same stylist?

I have a prenup! People told me my marriage wouldn’t last because prenups are not romantic.

She’s had serious mental health episodes and is estranged from her mother, who was the only one trying to get her mental help.

-254884% chance. This is very bad but hopefully most of her money is locked down in a way so that her gold digger husband won’t be able to touch it.