What’s up with the Derek Zoolander attire?

Actually, he’s a Spur.

I love that you subtlety changed the way you spelled his last name throughout the post. Absolutely hilarious.

“Heaven help us if one of the conditions is to pee in a bottle.”

What a time to be alive.

69 counts of indecent exposure? Nice.

“Hi Jay, this is Dave from North Side Yamaha checking in. We were doing an internal audit and noticed that you haven’t responded to any customer service emails in 13 years. We want to make sure you are still fully satisfied with your purchase. Call me back.”

I dnt play them games

“Dwyane, Chris, Melo, we did it! We won the championship, and we did it all together! This is everything I had dream—”

Was it called fowl?

Sexually propositioning a woman and her mom at a stoplight?

It can just pop up at any time, just randomly. Not because you did something to it, but because it’s there. There’s days when I wake up and I feel fine, and then a week later, it’s kind of stiff.

The question really just came out wrong. What he meant to ask was:

WAIVE THE NO TRADE CLAUSE! WAIVE THE NO TRADE CLAUSE!

I am convinced that if I don’t drink coffee every day, I would never poop.

Chastain told The New York Times that she believes she shook off a concussion “probably a half-dozen times” during her career, and sometimes experiences short-term memory loss.

Poor Zingis.