In other news: I stepped in gum when I walked through the parking lot to the office. Film at 11:00.

@vodkanaut: The actually quote was, "Don't chew with your mouth open."

My first time involved me running to the White Hen for a pack of condoms. I sauntered up to the coutner with a three pack and gave the man my Capital One credit card. Deadpan he said, "We have a five dollar minimum."

@Donte Stallworth Driving School: Oh Indeed.

He's making this much harder than necessary. Why couldn't he just fall off the back of a speeding truck like or get shot in the face by a mistress like everybody else.

@UweBollocks: Here Here +1

I walk her downstairs— Marv Albert taught me you should always make her wash before she face sits you—and I go straight to the bellman and ask for my twenty back.

I can understand both of them both growing up on James Street but why ever would you name your first pet Joslyn or Devon?

Afterwords an exasperated Gheorghe Muresan lay down his crate and ushered Yao inside. He crushed a bag of Nila wafers in his massive hands and let Yao lick the powder off them. He turn toward the media and vowed to return to next years, "Gods Showcase of Laughter" with an even smaller and terrifying pet dwarf - Billy…

@Nine Bill Muellers:

@UweBollocks: You sir have stolen my heart today.

From when I ask him to do something, he has done everything I've asked him to do even at gunpoint.

@UweBollocks:

Who still says 'Queer'?

@Greek McPapadopoulos: The scream with the missed kick is the best noise of all time.

The John Carney shitting of the bed is the greatest trick or treat of all time.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Gene Simmons: Pretentious Sellout?

This is so much like that incredible gathering of the Juggalos I keep hearing about.

@Gourmet Spud: A riot in my cube. Thank you for that.

"Of course, Russia is usually about five years behind the United States. Britney Spears is very popular right now.''