@Lionel Osbourne: Oddly enough I have about 2 close friends and a number of other acquaintances that read. They couldn't believe that I comment on the site though. I guess some of us are just more comfortable playing with dick jokes or being morbid.

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: +1 fresh squeeze

Thank you Pack for making me $360 richer tonight. I will now go to the bar. What will be my victory shot?

@gulag: Pleading with the crowd for some kind of sanity.

@Phintastic: The whole thing is that it's skin touching skin so you can get it with wearing a condom as well. And yes, this is what I get for being a whore as well. Fishing around the 4 am bars on the weekends is something I need to cut out of my schedule.

@Bellwether Johnson: I accept your signage.

@BarbarobicsInstructor: The warts come from HPV, which is a virus. So it can't be cured. There are over 30 different strains. You maybe cool with 1 - 33 but if you get #34, look out! Your dick is toast. And that's the shitty part. I was speaking with my urologist and he said that it looks like the stats may be that…

@Phintastic: I had to let the last three girls I slept with know that I had it just in case. I'd feel bad if they got cervical cancer. I enjoyed telling my last long term ex about it. That fucking hell whore stole my copy of Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

@BarbarobicsInstructor: If it makes you feel any better my friends all ask if I have fucking Lysol when they take a shit at my place for fear their dick will touch the toilet seat where my genital warts might be. Seriously, I have genital warts, I'm not a fucking leper.

@Phintastic: The statistics are astounding when you start reading about it. I'm surprised more people don't have this shit.

@Body By Bacardi: That seems about right. Would you expect any less?

@Phintastic: You don't want. When I found out I got them I had a girlfriend at the time. She had the vaccine so she was okay. The process is that the doc applies local anesthetic to each wart and then burns them off with something that resembles a soldering iron. Things were great until the girlfriend dumped my ass…

DUAN,

I'm at the Jewel last week getting a bunch of my single, lonely man products. You know the kind; eggs, cereal, noodles and ketchup and shit. The lady behind the counter says, "You need some garbage stickers?" And I'm all like, "Yeah, could probably do that." I buy like six of them and I get all the way back to my…

@Return_of_Kevin_Mack: In your version it sounds like he has a cold.

"Gubba Dubba GUBBA GUBBA! Hee hee hee! Gub Fubba Gub!"

I was sure that the Pussy Monsters were due.

@Clinton Portishead: You officially win the day. Thank you.

I as okay with everyone wearing colors to show support but this National Prostate Cancer Awareness month shit has really gotten out of hand.

... And the Plainface Township Down Syndromes drop their third game in a row to the Wickersham Common Sense.