Somebody get that bro a smirnoff, stat.

The last few years have been ruff on Michael Vick.

@ClintonPortishead: And a heart for you good sir.

Just do what Woody Paige couldn't and let your feet leave the ledge.

Sweet black Jesus ...

Headline:

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: +1 smallpox

... a viral internet campaign of hate against Reds owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett.

Me: Hey, aren't you Kid Bronc?

Well, let's see your resume. Okay, you know C#, .Net, VB.Net and ASP. Oh whats this under "other skills?" You play the Vuvuzela?!

He just reminds me of that current events teacher that you wanted to like but just couldn't, so instead you urinated in a bottle and when he wasn't looking, let it slowly dribble over the stack of old Time Magazines on the east side of the room.

Skip to about 3: 30

@FEAST: Hoop ordered and rape whistles removed. It's going to banner fucking weekend.

It looks a lot like Pauly Shores career: Horrible to look at ... and cooked into a loaf of bread.

"Don't. Just relax. C'mon,"

@ClownBaby: That's funny. This exactly what happened to me except for I said, "Uhh, I'll take the Mountain Goats?"

No thank you. I'll just wait for the graphic novel adaptation.

I'll share one more surgery story from my vault of bad life experiences...

I had a buddy who was slipped the date rape drug back in '03. They found him passed out around DePaul University.

Milpool ...