It was later discovered that he had only bought the organization so that he could hold a “Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just a Rat In a Cage Match”.

McElwain misunderstood. Sharks like chum and don’t want a mega load on them.

Eric Lindros: “The hit on Crosby didn’t look that bad. I wouldn’t stop playing.”

Holy shit, Marc-Andre! Was he concussed, or lobotomized?

Sad how soft modern hockey players have become.

“Nothing happened” is, by far and away, the most common “consensual sexual event” in my house.

Gareon on my wayward son
For there’ll be police when you are done

That reminds me of Woody Allen’s great line from Sleeper.

“How did your date go?”

“You want us to go for a score or just run the half out?”

The last thing you want to face is a dog that has a leg up.

Um, thanks for not lying?

This is me, every time an EVE article gets posted.

Baylor: “Boy, we’re finally overtaking Penn State for most odious institutional breakdown! Our ‘callousness toward victims’ ratings are unprecedented!”

Jack Tatum

Several teams have expressed interest, but the dog’s agent has made it clear his client will only play for Lindy Ruff.

Deadspin is principally a Witcher 3 fansite. If you like Fallout 4 and you have any tolerance at all for pseudo-medieval stuff you’ll love it.

Yeah, well, my Pirates signed Joey Terdoslavich in the off-season! Scouting reports indicate that the two things he really dislikes are: (1) being good at baseball, and (2) always being called ‘Terd Man’

“I Can’t Vibe 55”

Either way I’m sure there will be a giant dildo there...