Mandatory:

Then let’s talk about hazard pay, Madam Mayor. You’re putting their lives on the line, let’s make sure they’re well taken care of and not hustling for pencils and PPE. Maybe help the kids with that stuff too since you’re so concerned about the wealth gap.

[Hail, O Jezebel, lift me up from the grays...]

Not a horror story, per se, but something that has left me scratching my head for over fifteen years.

A particularly gross aspect to this is that the Seattle Times initially (I don’t know if they’ve changed it since but) reported on this as “A Tacoma police officer drove through a group of pedestrians Saturday night, and a video being shared shows people falling to the ground as the police SUV speeds up through the…

I don’t know if I’m interested in or dreading a potential Watchmen/Michelle Obama at the inauguration mashup. I think I’m erring on the side of dread.

If only there was some party that stood for personal responsibility. You know, not relying on handouts from the government to get you out of a tough spot. These people need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps.

I remember the guys in the documentary Murderball talking about how they hated when people managed to confused the Paralympics with the Special Olympics.

You have to wait an hour before those kick in, but you can just pull out a gun without worrying about going off half cocked.

Or, in Ted Cruz’s case, from within his own office. “New phone, who’s this?”

On Biden, as he was speaking, I was actually thinking I hope he doesn’t give them fuckers a pass for the shit they have done with this olive branch unity bullshit.

Private No Class Clem “Sisterfucker” McNamara: “You’re not the boss of me!!! I LOVE AMERICA!!!!!”
Chiefs of Staff: “Oh really?”

If he’s so supreme, where’s the guac and sour cream, huh?!

I keep conflating Lamar Odom with Leslie Odom, Jr. from Hamilton and... I keep getting very confused. Am I alone in this?

“I respect our law and order president who tells me that I don’t have to follow anyone else’s rules!”

“I think that the fact that the cover itself is so charming, and so relaxed, and, for me, so surprising, and so real,” she muses, noting that the cover is “a very welcoming image.”

For whatever it’s worth, Congresswoman Jayapal tested positive today:

I’m a photographer and that’s exactly what that looks like. That’s the “Check the lights and get the awkward ‘CHEESE!’ pose out of the way and relax a bit.” pose.

I remember when the big fear were the so-called “Michigan Militias” and the next Timothy McVeigh. Funny how we swept all that down the memory hole when we found an excuse to bomb brown people.

“Unlike those soyboy beta cucks in the NFL, we respect the American flag!” says man who just put his flag any old where because it was just so hard to carry it. I mean, your right arm would be sore after holding it upright for hours at an end.

Lindsey would like everyone to know that he has renounced his dalliance with the Leopards Eating Everyone’s Faces party. He was wrong in his thinking and would like to thank the Tigers who convinced him of his error.