“the largest kidney grill butt cheeks ever designed for a BMW model.”

They’re on top of the world and are in control of the whole game, but can’t stop playing the victim card and whining like pathetic losers about how much everyone is out to get them. It’s not only annoying, it’s completely counterproductive, as they’re going to wake up soon on the bottom of the world, with no one to…

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...

Eagles fans would boo extinguishing the fires from a turned-over school bus

John McCain already made it clear he didn’t want 45 at his funeral. I hope the rest of the family bans him. Just as the Bush family did. 

I love Dez now that he’s burning down the whole Cowboys organization

People watch the Super Bowl for the commercials, I watch the Tour for the HD sweeping vistas of rural France and its mountains and little villages that are like ten houses and a HUGE gothic church. My only problem with doping is it might make the stages go faster and give me less of my landscape porn.

I’d settle for just flattening out Cavendish.

Defense lawyer here. At a grand jury proceeding there is no rules of evidence and no defense attorney. It’s a closed door proceeding. Ever heard the phrase, “you can indict a ham sandwhich?” It basically means that a prosecutor can get an indictment behind closed doors on anyone for anything. So it has no…

In hindsight, the top of the 2012 draft class is really weird. The top two picks, Luck and Griffin were really good, if not spectacular, in the beginning. Then a combination of injuries, organizational incompetence, and poor play has rendered them afterthoughts just 5 years later. Throw in Trent Richardson, currently…

I don’t know why Josh McDaniels ran screaming in terror back to the Patriots, do you

Colts fan: ‘Luck has plenty of experience with underweight footba-’

This is all I see.

I know four guys who would disagree.

Gabe Kaplan just sent a stern note to you via Epstein’s mother.

I want to see a crew of Charles Oakley, Xavier McDaniel, and Ron Artest

Before we rush to judgement, who among us hasn’t called a ref a bitch ass motherfucker?

In the same way all Camrys are supposed to have a weird dent. It’s designed from the factory that way.

Clever. I would say that too, push for a lot of guaranteed money, and then totally kneel during the anthem. Take THAT you bastards!

12th man hates 13th amendment.