The dog is still alive. It’s your friend who is dead.

And just like modern BMWs, they are stuck in the shop with broken sensors that are waiting to be fixed by the manufacturer after being forced to admit they fucked up.

And none of the 737 line has turn signals. 

BMW drivers dream to have this level of asshat parking job

I’m on your side. This Gabe Froboznik guy should be chucked into the ocean, only to be rescued by Boaty McBoatface, thus putting him forever in the submersible’s debt.

Except the XboxOne had plenty of games.  Sorry, but I just hate how so many people clamor for exclusives.  

Bought all my third party games on the Xbox one because I got an X. Reason enough to justify my purchase over something like the PS4.

“Pro-life" only refers to white fetuses. 

Felt like the cable operators got together and paid HBO off to make a climactic episode of their most popular series that demonstrates the shortfalls of streaming technology.

“White Walkers HATE her! This one neat dagger trick will end the Long Night”

I wanted to slam my head against the table when the commander-in-cheeto was tweeting about using firefighting drop-planes to fight the blaze. You don’t need my 8 years as a firefighter to have the common sense to realize what kind of damage that much mass does to a structure. Not to mention, there is a reason why you…

64 yr old was British, that was his hard Brexit.

I assumed based on the “Pizza Ranch” name that you were supposed to cover up the flavor of their ‘pizza’ with a flood of ranch dressing.

“I have a different opinion than you, so I’m going to call you an asshole over it, which is not at all an asshole move on my part.”

You can’t blame Lewis for this. Every British person knows that if a piece of dirt never had a Union Jack on it, it must be unexplored.

Counterpoint:

I’d read a lot more news stories if they were bullet-point lists of exactly what happened, step by step.

Everyone knows Pepsi drinkers are sociopaths

Wow.....

As long as I can still cure cancer with cranberry and celery juice!