I honestly clicked on this thinking it was going to be an actual story about a Florida menage a trois.

I give it a month.

Rule 34, ya know.

Wha....wha...what the fuck was THAT?

That’s almost certainly a Sig P226 40 cal. Fired one handed like that? Yeah, he’s gettin some teeth fixed. Probably not fixing the ear damage.

Honest to god- I read the word “poem” in the headline as “porn”. It was confusing as hell.

Yes. What an excellent idea. Let’s wholesale deprive someone of legal access to a legal product solely on the basis of the accusation of a crime. That couldn’t possibly go wrong.

I do I’ve finally met a fellow traveler on this way I call “Keep your motherfucking Calvinism out of my Christianity.” Godspeed good fellow. Godspeed.

That would make the whole exchange less humorous in hindsight, but for now its 24 karat Kinja.

Holy shit. Don’t do drugs at 2 am and try to Kinja, kids. This is basically meth-addled spam Engrish.

I mean, it’s glorious and bizarre, and it tippy toes right up to the line of coherence right before veering stupendously off into the night with its headlights off. Well done Claudettes dressingroom. Well done.

This is the most Portland thing ever.

If I had other options you think I would have chosen this one? HA!

Dude, if you’re a white guy in a position of authority and you call an African American the n-word I think it ought to not just be reasonable grounds for you getting assaulted, I think said person should be legally obligated to assault you himself or assign the task to the meanest motherfucker he can find.

While I’m as happy as monkey with a new banana that Amy can “catch a dick whenever she wants” AND that she is happy doing so......it seems a tad weird to use this as an example of “body positivity” doesn’t it?

The entire point of saying “I accept my body. Period.” is that you don’t have to be able to “catch a dick…

Yeah, swingers IRL never quite measure up to the fantasy.

Why does he talk like Bubbles from TPB’s?

Just took my kids to see it-14, 11, and 6.

They loved it.

I’ve clearly failed as a parent, and will now drown both my sorrow over this, and all memories of this steaming cinematic horse shit in a tall, tall pour of single malt.

God it was sooo bad. Even forewarned and inattentive, it was rivetingly awful.

I figured, but still.....

I feel horrid for laughing at this.

This times 100. My parents adopted my two younger brothers when my father was 54 and my mother was 52. It's fine for the first two or three years, but they are 16 and 13 now and there is often a whiff of quiet desperation floating around my mom now. It's really hard keeping up with kids when you're 40 and the finish…

I don't even have ovaries and mine started humming.