This is beyond horrifying.

I did not wake up this morning thinking I would like Ariana Grande, yet here we are.

When I was a little kid, our dinner dishes was an older set my mother had inherited - heavy stoneware that could take a beating, but the underside had a very deep foot.

Growing up, we lived in a partially-finished but planned out subdivision. It took them probably a decade to complete it, but in the interim all the roads were laid out and the individual plots were forested. This led to huge, sprawling games of hide and seek for probably 8 of us around my age.

No, no. That leftover candy is MINE. I take great pleasure in sitting at home and eating leftover candy for the rest of the week after Hallowe’en/ I’m not giving it to some late-ass trick or treater.

OK, well as the candy-giver-outer, how I ensure I score extra candy on Halloween is by sorting through a few Costco-size big ass bags of candy and filling the plastic jack-o-lanterns with the candy that I don’t particularly like.

Naw, I did the same thing when I was a kid. People don’t give as much candy if you’ve already got a fullish bag, so you dump almost all the candy into a secondary bag and show up almost empty, hoping that candy givers feel bad for you and give you a double handful to make up for those jerk neighbors who allegedly “ran…

You can also check out those removable appliqués. They have entire scenes you can stick up.

Or buy fabric, dip it in liquid starch, and smooth that on the wall. When it’s time to move, just peel that shit off, wipe with a damp sponge, and you’re good to go.

Imagine a cop did this to your kid. In fact, imagine anyone did this to your kid.

I judge you.

It doesn’t hurt that Clinton and Richards are about 19x smarter than anyone else in the room.

I feel that constant and nonstop eye contact is creepy. Key is to know when and how to briefly take your eyes off of the person you’re talking to.

Same story here: big boobs and a hairline fracture. I gave up Tabata running for Yoga, and though it is not so good for weight loss, my posture and flexibility have improved, while muscles remain somewhat toned.

She’s 22 and the child of two rock stars, both who were constantly strung out on heroin when before and after she was born, one of whom died tragically a short time later so she never knew him and the other a spoiled brat who can’t keep herself under control and still acts like she’s a teenager at 51. Frankly, looking…

No girls, except for all the girls who do.

I’ve had a flight delayed beyond the 3 hour limit that turns it to cancelled (Frontier) and I didn’t have most of this, but still got rebooked. All I had to do was stand in line behind the guy that blamed the gate agents for the plane’s mechanical issue. When I got up to the agent, I apologized for him being a dick…

could we also do a breakdown of how many times they collectively said they want to go to war with russia

Immediately change into lounging clothes (aka pajamas and no bra). This is the most consistent and effective thing for me.

Ah yes, I remember how readers of this particular site showed their true colors the first time Jezebel reported on this.