“I first saw President Reagan as a foot, highly polished brown cordovan wagging merrily on a hassock. I spied it through the door. It was a beautiful foot, sleek. Such casual elegance and clean lines! But not a big foot, not formidable, maybe a little ...frail. I imagined cradling it in my arms, protecting it from…

Five pounds of water? It’s Leonard “Shamwow” Fournette, everybody!

Rivers Romo needs to grow up and start a band called “Geezer”

Really makes my dad’s favorite way to threaten me, “I’ll hit you so hard your great grandkids will feel it,” seem way more fucked up.

Can’t imagine he’s very Jung Ho about the whole thing.

I have it on good authority that Lorde was born in Kenya on August 4, 1961.

I think you’ve got to rebuild. This year is obviously lost, so you’ve got to think about 2018. Curry isn’t fitting in with Durant. Might I suggest a straight up Curry for Carmelo Anthony trade in the offseason?

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

Draymond Green: Times like these, you reach down and grab a pair.

Bill knows that Marvin killed it every time he was on the field, and was never gun shy about taking guys out over the middle.

I too suffered a wrist injury after the Raptors got Serge Ibaka and PJ Tucker for Terrence Ross, Jared Sullinger and three low draft picks.

WAY TO GO, PAUL

It sucks for him, and for Faye. But he could have just said “this card says Emma Stone” instead of just going with it.

Good review. A lot of folks complain that it slows down the game, but you gotta take the time and make the right call.

Yankee Stadium had a nap space in the 90s. Didn’t end well.

That reading was from his court date; he’s been in detox since the arrest.

Easy Top row L to R: Poindexter, The Grube, Deb from accounting, “Slitherin” Steve.
Bottom row L to R: Chud, Nationally ambiguous name guy, ‘Stache-Man Jones, Squats and “Pussy Thief” Dave “the Eye-Talian stallion”

I don’t have this problem, but I want to live vicariously through you by killing myself