-1 Poochie

When my server at the restaurant says, “Enjoy your meal,” I say, “You too.”

Man, right in the dick and balls.

This is honestly so important.

thank you so much joseph.

I have a kid. She’s three. Kids are cool. Three-year-olds are cool. They like bugs and fart jokes and making up dumb words to songs. I like my friends, too, because my friends are cool and supportive. They also like fart jokes. My friends like my kid and my kid likes them, too. She makes them pictures and lego…

And don’t even get me started on people who post comments on internet articles.

I... I know. I said as much. Right here. This is where I said it.

Both teams are hitting posts at alarming rates, but both goaltenders are playing great. Jones kept the first three games from being blowouts, and Murray made a few exceptional saves in the third period when the Pens (for reasons impossible to understand) went into prevent mode for the millionth time this postseason.

Peter Pan is kind of a dipshit in that movie. Tell me this isn’t a punchable face. He’s the fairytale Jimmy Clausen.

The problem was with Sullivan trying to find a reason to reinsert Fleury into the lineup. He was viewing Murray as the hot backup instead of THE guy.

This is a strange position to take, given that Murray has played 27 NHL games. He might be the next Ken Dryden, but he also might be the next Johan Hedberg. Do you want to spend the next two to three seasons (and the tail end of whatever is left of Sid and Geno’s “prime” to find out?

Can you please rank the best nicknames for dick and balls

please continue to post here.

i mean, where are YOUR penis and balls? somewhere else? someplace else on your body? where? tell me where. show me, okay? i don’t believe you. show me where they are. send a pic. send a lil pic of your penis and balls, not for gay reasons, just to show me. so i can know. i’m not gay. just send the pic. show me the…

how full is your diaper right now

No HBO, but HGTV? That’s like saying, “The liquor store was out of nice bourbon, but don’t be sad because there was a sale on bottles of David Ortiz forearm sweat.” Equating free HGTV with living the American Dream is bleak—the best association there is that we’ve hit rock bottom and can now start clawing our way…

Bobby, you dear sweet stupid boy.

That’s a different issue. That problem is with the NHL’s playoff bracket - it didn’t provide any tangible benefit to the Caps for playing 6+ months of great hockey. Tampa had a significantly easier path to the ECF than did the team with the most points in hockey. That’s lame.

Nah, the very nature of a seven-game series eliminates fluky outcomes.